The dark side of growing as an Artist

I want to start this off by saying I love making music and trying to grow this project. It's not easy and I find myself stuck in my own head a lot but this is what I want to do at the end of the day. I'm willing to do everything it takes to become a full time artist.

The deeper I dive into this journey, the darker the hole gets. In the beginning you had constant ideas, you met friends online and it was exciting. You were so locked in for months and months (maybe years) constantly watching youtube tutorials, on discord calls and in the daw trying your best to make something that sounds good. Eventually that cycle dies down, people find their groups, you're sick of watching tutorials, you realize it's not only about being a solid producer.

Today it seems like to be a large artist you need to have a big following on social media, you need to grind to grow your following so talent buyers even look at you. It doesn't matter how good you are at producing, djing or putting on a live performance. If your following isn't there nobody gives a f*ck.

For me this sent me down a dark hole of comparing myself to other producers that have a bigger following, I think they got their sh*t down because they have more followers. This then sent me down the rabbit hole of feeling like i'm not being good enough. All the hard work I put in to promote myself and make music I actually like doesn't matter because I don't have a big following. Which then leads you to lose motivation and passion. 

It's easy to spend years and years working on one thing, then feeling like you don't have much to show for it. You start thinking "what's the point". It's easy to try and rush the process because you see your friends passing you while you feel like you're trying your hardest. Of course i'm proud of them but it's easy to have that voice of "why not me" in the back of your head.

I'm not writing this to give you the answer on how to fix this feeling, honestly I know it will always be there. It's more about how you deal with it and how you let it affect you. I know you shouldn't compare yourself to others, I know this is going to take a while, I know my time will come. But being in the process and not being able to see the future can give you doubts. I also know the only time you really do fail is when you quit, if you stick to it eventually yes you will succeed no matter what. 

I want you to know you're not alone if you feel this way, I think some people forget behind the music is a regular person with feelings. It gets really hard sometimes and you feel like you can't turn to anyone. 

Always remember you can give yourself breaks whenever you need it, you can disconnect whenever you need it and you can talk to people whenever you need it. 

If you feel like your work is going unnoticed and unappreciated just remember you're doing this for fun and it takes a lot of time (a lot of god damn time). Trust the process and keep moving forward.

If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone or have any questions reach out to me on instagram @hyperinvasionmusic, I will always take time out of my day to help someone and especially on a topic like this.

You're doing great, keep moving forward.